Can Sleep Again
by PuffingNoise
Summary: Spoiler Warning through episode 14. L.L. See inside for summary.


_Disclaimer: I do not own these characters._

_Summary: SPOILER WARNING through episode 5.14. This is only loosely based on some of the spoilers that I've read- My version of how Luke and Lorelai get back together after their break-up. I wrote this before seeing episode 5.13_

**Can Sleep Again**

The early morning sunrise cast a glow through the windows of the Gilmore home. Lorelai sleepily rolled over in her bed, reaching out for Luke, but as her hands felt only a cold, empty space beside her, the previous day's events flooded her mind, forcing out the warm tears that she had suppressed only hours ago, by finally falling into a deep, exhausted sleep.

Curling up with the pillow that Luke usually slept on, her tears flowed freely, soon accompanied by the sobs. Luke's words from the previous day echoed in her mind- "I think we need some time apart," he had said.

Her pleading and apologizing hadn't helped any. When was the last time that she had pleaded with a man for anything? She couldn't remember- didn't know if she's ever been so upset about screwing up a relationship that she had to beg a man to reconsider; to listen to her; to try again.

But needing "time apart" wasn't forever, was it? Her tears slowed a bit at this realization. She was calmed a bit. It gave her some hope, and allowed her to drift back into a light sleep.

-

Meanwhile, Luke was just opening the diner. Dark circles were evident underneath his eyes, as a result of a lack of sleep. Had he been too harsh? Too hasty in his judgment? But as much as he wanted to forgive her, and run to her and just hold her and kiss her until this wound in their relationship could be healed, he knew that he couldn't be with someone who he couldn't trust, no matter how much he cared for her, and his trust had been seriously tried when she repeatedly failed to tell him that she had been spending time with Christopher- her ex- Rory's dad- the one man in Lorelai's past that Luke felt could threaten their relationship, and she knew that. As much as it was killing him, he needed some time to think this over, and Lorelai needed this time to realize that is had to be one or the other- Luke or Christopher- not both.

-

Lorelai dragged herself out of bed after hitting the snooze button about five times. Looking at herself in the mirror, seeing the dried tracks of tears on her face, and the puffy pinkness around her eyes made her want to crawl right back into bed again. She couldn't let people see her like this- vulnerable and torn-up over a man. So she didn't- she didn't let people see her like this. She cleaned herself up, went to work, and worked nonstop from morning until night. Manically performing every task that she could think of until she had done everything, and there was basically no need for a staff anymore.

She wasn't fooling anyone. Everyone saw that she was working herself to sheer exhaustion in order to keep her mind off of Luke, and everyone was worried. Sookie tried to reason with Lorelai daily, but it was of no use.

This went on for two weeks straight- Lorelai working constantly at the Dragonfly from early morning until late at night, only stopping to go home, cry herself to sleep, and start all over again only a few hours later.

Lorelai didn't understand herself, and what she was feeling. She felt like she didn't know herself anymore. She didn't do this- she had never let herself go to pieces over a guy. In the past, when she broke up with someone, after a very short couple of hours of wallowing (if there even was any wallowing), she stored away her feelings in a box at the back of her mind, put a cover on it, and was ready to take on the world. That's not saying that she wasn't upset or that she was insensitive- she's just always been good at suppressing her feelings. This time she couldn't, and she didn't understand why.

Why was this time so different? Why did it seem like Luke had worked his way into every little crevice of her heart and mind, so that she felt empty without him? That's when the realization hit her that she loved him. She truly loved Luke, and was in love with Luke in a way that she had never loved any man before. She felt a lump develop in her throat then, and frustrated, she swiped away the tears that had spilled over onto her cheeks.

But she couldn't help but feel a little hopeful with this realization.

-

Meanwhile, for those two weeks after his decision to take a break from the relationship, Luke had seemed to develop a case of insomnia. He was kept up all night, every night with thoughts of Lorelai. Mostly, he wondered if he had done the right thing. It really was a harmless lie- nothing had happened between Lorelai and Christopher, he knew that, but still, when it came down to it, she had still been dishonest with him, and he didn't know if he could completely trust her.

His other thoughts were occupied with simply missing her. He missed her so much.

This insomnia and general frustration over the whole situation didn't mix well with his daily life. Townspeople started staying away from the diner after being growled at, or thrown out by Luke for the stupidest of reasons. People just didn't want to deal with his temper- it had grown twofold since the fallout with Lorelai.

One night, during a spell of insomnia, at about 2:00 A.M., Luke had a moment of weakness, and just had to see her. Before he knew what he was doing, he was standing on her front porch in his pajamas, knocking on her door.

Lorelai, still lying awake in her own bed, heard a soft knock on her front door. In her sleep-deprived state, not even thinking to wonder who was at her door at this ungodly hour of the night, stumbled to the door, opened it, and leaned against it as she looked outside.

"Luke."

She didn't know what to say, other than his name. Looking at him for the first time in two weeks, she noticed the dark circles under his eyes, and the sheer exhaustion written all over his face.

When Luke looked at Lorelai for the first time in what seemed like forever, he developed a lump in his throat at the sight of her. Her eyes were red and puffy, and that spark he loved so much had gone out of them. He felt like he'd been punched in the stomach at the realization that he was the reason why she was in this much pain. He had never seen her like this before, and it killed him to know that she was hurting like she was.

"I shouldn't have come here." His voice was raspy as he started to turn around and leave. He didn't get very far because Lorelai's hand on his arm had stopped him.

"No, please, come in," she said softly.

Luke stared at the floor of the porch for a long moment, thinking, and tracing the lines of the wood with his eyes, and enjoying the feeling of her hand on his arm before he made his decision. He stepped inside and closed the door behind him. He followed Lorelai to the kitchen, where they both sat down on opposite sides of the table. The silence was heavy in the room for what seemed like an eternity, each stealing glances at each other, and not knowing what to say.

Lorelai, unable to take the silence any longer, spoke in almost a whisper, "I know this probably isn't the best time to say this, and I know I should have told you earlier, but I do love you, Luke…"

They both stared at each other then, hope stirring in their eyes.

"I love you, too," Luke replied.

Lorelai felt a tremendous wave of relief wash over her, and Luke saw that spark reappear in her eyes, which made it all the more difficult for Luke to continue, "But that doesn't mean that all is forgiven."

"Luke…"

"No, Lorelai, telling me that you love me isn't just going to fix everything. I still need to figure this out. I need to know that I can trust you again-"

"Luke," she cut him off, the volume of her voice was quickly rising, "I told you that I'm sorry! I made a mistake!" Lorelai was fighting back the tears now. "I thought you'd get upset if I told you, and there was no reason for you to be upset because nothing happened! But I know now that I made a mistake- I should have told you that I spent the night at Christopher's talking to him the night his father died. I screwed up, okay? I don't know how many times I have to apologize to you to make you forgive me, and make you realize that you can trust me!" Lorelai let out an exasperated sigh, fighting so hard to keep the tears back.

Luke just stood there. Since he had gotten to her house, and seen her, he realized how much she was hurting over this situation, too. Yes, her mistake was what caused him to want some time apart from her for a while, but he had been starting to regret that decision. When she had told him that she loved him, it took everything that he had not to go to her and pull her to him, and kiss her. As she started yelling, he stood there realizing that things like this are just a part of relationships. Trust is part of a relationship, and even though she had lied to him, she had sincerely apologized- more than once. Why shouldn't he give her the benefit of the doubt? Why should he throw an eight-year friendship, and this beautiful new relationship out the window over something so small? He shouldn't. Something like what they have is worth saving, and worth working through together.

As she was finishing her rant, he watched her for a moment, silently, as she stood there waiting for his reaction, fighting back her tears. He made up his mind, and closed the space between them, drawing her to him, and pressing his lips against hers lovingly. Lorelai was so caught off-guard by his sudden change of heart that her emotions took over and she was no longer able to hold back the tears, and the crying.

A soft whimper escaped from her throat, and Luke felt the wetness of her tears on her cheeks. Slowly pulling away from the kiss, he held her to him and let her cry into his chest, her tears soaking his t-shirt.

Both were so glad to be back in each other's arms and each other's lives. They knew that they had a long conversation on its way, but it would have to wait until morning. Too tired to do anything else that night, they silently climbed the stairs together, and climbed into bed. They held each other; legs intertwined together, Lorelai's head nestled into the crook of his neck.

"Luke?"

"Mmm?" he mumbled sleepily.

"I love you," she whispered, pressing a kiss to his collarbone.

He pulled her closer to him, kissed her forehead, and responded in kind before both of them falling into a deep sleep in each other's arms.

Knowing everything would be okay between them, they could finally sleep again.


End file.
